Next, we’ll simply ask you to rate how true 30 statements are and then we’ll give
you the results of what actions will prove most helpful to deepening your friendships!
1. I generously tell my friends what I am grateful for about them and affirm what
I love in them.
2. I intentionally plan events with friends that promote amusement, awe, hope, joy,
interest, or inspiration.
3. My friends leave my presence feeling better about themselves and their lives.
4. I spend at least 75% of my time talking about what’s good in my life rather than
whining about what I’d rather change.
5. I encourage and invoke laughter when I’m with my friends.
6. I validate and accept my friends’ feelings more readily than I give advice or
show a lack of approval.
7. My friends would have no reason to question whether I love them—I try to show
it through acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, touch, and quality time.
8. Even when I’m in crisis or pain, I make sure to show interest in the lives of
my friends, as well.
9. I give to my friendships what I can and know how to protect my boundaries by
saying no when needed.
10. I am comfortable at expressing my needs and asking for support so that others
have a chance to love me in meaningful ways.
11. I am happy to initiate time together with my friends—reaching out first, inviting,
and offering up ways to be together.
12. My friends would concur that they hear from me regularly, never going long gaps
with them wondering what’s happened to me.
13. I view my time with friends as a necessity and schedule life around them, rather
than as an afterthought only if I have extra time.
14. My friends can schedule with me pretty quickly—it doesn’t take 3 weeks for me
to find time to connect in some way.
15. If a friend texts, calls, or emails, she knows she will hear back from me.
16. I never use “busy” as an excuse to not see friends.
17. I genuinely believe that friendships have to be developed and I understand it
takes a lot of time together to reach frientimacy.
18. Even if I don’t hear back from a friend, I’ll reach out again.
19. Those around me (children, spouse, other friends) would testify that my friendships
are a priority in my life based on them seeing and hearing about the time I’m spending
with my friends.
20. I have a few friends who I prioritize and will make every effort to be at the
events that matter most to them (birthdays, kids' birthdays, toasting new jobs,
weddings, baby showers, special work events) and to be present when they are in
crisis.
21. I feel safe incrementally revealing myself with friends as we’re getting closer.
22. People who spend time with me walk away feeling like they got to know me more.
23. If my friends were surveyed, they would whole-heartedly agree that I show interest
in them by asking questions, listening, and being curious about their lives.
24. I will take risks for new and developing friendships by initiating our time
together and suggesting new activities that might strengthen our bond.
25. I am in touch with my feelings and practice articulating them to others regularly.
26. I am willing to broaden my friendships by bringing up new subjects we haven’t
talked about before.
27. I am excited to share my good news, my accomplishments, and the things I am
proud of with my friends.
28. With my closest and most trusted friends, there is nothing I wouldn’t be willing
to admit or share.
29. I trust easily, starting from a place of assuming the best in others.
30. I am comfortable enforcing my boundaries so that I never share or do more than
feels safe with someone.